Look Good In Ski Clothing And Look Bad While Trying To Ski In It
Skiing can be a cruel sport and probably something more suited to people who are extremely comfortable falling down mountain peaks the height of Mount Everest while wearing two pieces of board that can get one up to near the speed of light before crashing headlong into a tree. Look good in ski clothing and look bad while trying to ski and it, meaning buy good-looking clothing but rent the instruments of death otherwise known as ’skis.’
Think about things for a minute; Alpine skiing usually involves careening like a madman down the slope and on Alpine skiing equipment that costs literally hundreds and even thousands of dollars. Now; most ski resorts rent that stuff and at a price that’s bound to be less than the three-month hospital stay that usually occurs after improper Alpine skiing is done by folks who have no business on slick wooden boards and snow.
This is why it can be a magnificent idea to just go with the rental gear and get clothing that’ll help somebody look like they’ve conquered the last two Winter Olympics and walked away with all of the gold medals. And though being laughed at because the bunny slope is the only ski area that the fake Olympic skier will be on, consider the sheer mortal danger of skiing on a hill higher than a few feet in height. It’ll all be worth it in the end.
Still, spending a little dough on a nice black sport watch that’s timed to chime when happy hour over at the chalet is set to begin is probably worth all of the accolades that might be thrown one’s way after skiing down a black diamond slope, though one was actually looking for the restroom at the top of the lift. Of course, ’skiing down’ implies actually doing so deliberately. ‘Falling down’ was actually what happened.
All of this obsessing over skis and poles misses the fact that the real money should be spent on a nice black helmet. This little beauty will hide all the blood stains and the huge dents that were put in the helmet from smacking into the many trees that lined the big slope that was skied down. Actually, ’ski’ should probably be substituted for the word ‘crash, ‘ in this regard.
There’s really no deep secret to skiing as long as one understands that it’s a sport designed to get a human as close as possible to the speed of light while wearing funny looking footboards designed to not handle icy, frozen white water crystals very well. The sport certainly seems to have been designed by some cruel god more interested in torturing the little humans through skiing than anything else, sad to say.
In the end, it’s probably best to spend the bucks buying good-looking clothing that’ll also look good at the clubhouse while all of that rental ski gear sits outside, collecting ice and snow while the hot toddies are being poured inside. What’s the point of going to a ski resort, after all, if the only thing to do is to ski?
